New York Humor

Sinema's Legal Defense: Yes, There Was an Affair, but Please Consult the Map North Carolina Judge Refuses to Dismiss Homewrecker Case as America Discovers Romance May Have Minimum Contacts Former U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema has encountered one of the oldest hazards in American politics: not scandal, not elections, not angry donors, but a judge with access to Google Maps. Sinema has acknowledged a romantic relationship with Matthew Ammel, a former Army officer who joined her security team and later worked in her Senate office and campaign. According to Associated Press reporting, Sinema testified that the relationship became sexual on May 27, 2024, during a trip to Napa, California, followed by encounters in New York, Washington, Colorado and Arizona. She said none occurred in North Carolina. This produced a legal defense so beautifully American it practically arrived carrying a road atlas: yes, there was a relationship — but please examine the ZIP codes. U.S. District Judge Dav...

Vance Warns Antichrist May Be Walking Among Us, Washington Checks Whether He Has a Congressional Parking Permit Vice president discusses the end times, Democrats foresee the end of democracy, Republicans foresee the end of Western civilization, and the BBC discovers everybody has been forecasting Tuesday for years The United States entered a new and apparently final phase of political discourse this week after Vice President JD Vance mused that he would not be shocked if the Antichrist were already walking among us, forcing Americans to confront the disturbing possibility that the end of civilization may arrive before Congress passes another continuing resolution. Vance discussed Christianity, spiritual darkness, artificial intelligence and the end times during an hourlong interview with Christian podcaster Bryce Crawford. He did not actually announce that Armageddon had begun. Quite the opposite: he said he did not know whether humanity was living in the end times and suggested th...

Cal Softball Lawsuit Turns Playing Time Into Dating Currency, and the Internet Immediately Reaches for the Oldest Joke It Owns A former player alleges innings were handed out based on affection, Berkeley discovers its conflict of interest policy was never decorative, and half the commentary section decides the real story is who dates whom College athletics may have finally invented a form of compensation more complicated than NIL: Name, Image and Like-Me-Back. A former Cal softball player has sued former head coach Chelsea Spencer and the University of California Regents, alleging Spencer pressured her into a sexual relationship and retaliated by cutting her playing opportunities when the player tried to pull away. The complaint was filed in Alameda County Superior Court. Spencer has not admitted the allegations, and UC Berkeley has declined to comment on pending litigation. The lawsuit describes something considerably more serious than an office romance gone sour. It alleges a coa...